OK,those last two posts were a little out of point.But,I needed an exodus for my feelings.

Tomorrow is AQ day.Its gonna be a long 15km(!!) run at 5,then a kayaking expedition.After that,a cycling trip around some sick lonely place in Singapore.And heading for the finish line in J8.I hope it rains,and i get all soggy and muddy.So when i get back and shower,i know i accomplished something.I know that I beat myself.That i beat the 15km run.And the cold.And the physical fatigue.And the forgetting of pain.

I need a break.I wanna practice flare mills.I wanna practice shoulder to forearm.I wanna danceeee.Breaking in a school toilet just isn't right.

I'm so in need of studying for my Mandarin 'O' level examinations on the 30th of May.In fact,i shouldn't even be here blogging.So then,im out.AHH.

Stranded on the line of awake and asleep.
It seems the only exodus,
is the life I bleed.
Take me far away,
into a dream.
So the voice in me,
never screams.

Dreams are nightmares,
and nightmares are dreams.
So please,
kill me in my sleep.

I love you in Chinese:
Wo Ai Ni!

I love you in Kurdish:
Asektem!

I love you in Sioux:
Techi 'hila!

I love you in Ukranian:
Ya vas kikhayu!

I love you in Korean:
Na nun tanshinul sarang hamnida!

I love you in Portugese:
Eu te amo!

I love you in Eskimo:
Nagligivaget!

I love you in Welsh:
Rwy'n dy garu di!

I love you in German:
Ich liebe dich!

I love you in Tibetan:
Khyod-la cags-so!

I love you in Burmese:
Chitte!

You get the idea don't you?
Right now,this is the only effort i can afford to show.
Circumstances hold me back, from going 100%.


I love you.
-
Right now,i'm absolutely wasting time sitting in front of the computer listening to Red Lorry Yellow Lorry and eating Jack and Jill potatoe chips.VERY PARI PARI!Soon,i will lock myself in the study chamber where i will be tortured by the 3 chapters of chinese words waiting for me.All for the good of me.Woot.
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Performed at Tosh's primary school.Nice lobang ah Tosh!Not too bad ah,i screwed up alot though.Finally saw Jordan after like a 3 weeks of session.Jordan,if you only shoot your mouth and not practice,how to get better?!We know you got a girlfriend,but we at least expect you to show up and practice for a day.Next session,you better turn up,or we'll be discussing about banning you.LOL.Seriously,you must come down.Must be straightforward already.Productive critiscm is the way to improve.Jordan,get your lazy ass down for a session.
-
I'm going for BB AQ!Hope i survive the run.Dayuuuum.
-

Tomorrow's her birthday.
Happy 16th birthday girl.
You're loved...

Oh well.That's plain fucking pathetic.
Shit.

Was reading up on suicide shootings in schools.

Eric Harris.
Dylan Kebold.
Jeff Weiss.

What went through their minds at the time of their suicide?

This is my assumption,
based upon very personal feelings:

Eric Harris with a shotgun through his mouth.Dylan and Jeff with a gun at their temples.Honestly,what a glorious way to die!All that courage put into one action of pulling a simple trigger.And all the pain ended in a moment of a desperate cry of glory.I respect them.In fact,I honour them.Because life is painful,and that suicide is just another medicine.And they chose to take that medication.Bringing along people and aiding them of their pain or,out of jealousy, depriving them of the joy that has been found in life.They're patients of life and not victims of depression.Their aim,maybe,was to instill the feelings of pain,neglect and sorrow that they experince,into people.To let them know what it's like.What it's like to be in torment while seeing others enjoy their lives.

The difference between Muslim extremists and Columbine type massacres,is that Columbine type shooters do things for very personal reasons and causes that are often unknown to many.Muslim extremists do things for the cause that many believe in.Muslim extremists kill for the strive of spiritual perfection.Like the Aum(now the Aleph) cult in Japan.The difference in respect,is that the strive for spiritual perfection to me,is not worthy enough a reason to take the lives of others.The releasing of pain kept inside,is easier for me to understand.Because pain and torment,can drive one desperate.And it will drive one,extremely jealous of another more fortunate party.This silent jealousy and pain,will one day,be extremely unbearable.To a point of desperate insanity.

Just a random thought.
No offence to anyone reading this,
just thought i oughta share what's been keeping me awake.

And yes,suicide maybe a beautiful thing.But it is not the only way out of everything.

-

Just only yesterday,Mr Ang was bullshitting about how we should all sing the national anthem.Frankly,I cannot stand Singapore's national anthem and pledge.He said that we should let the whole of Woodlands listen to how much we love our country.

Now,that's just crap.

Love is too strong a word.One can never love your country.From a Christian perspective,Mr Ang,you are loving the world.And as a Christian yourself,you should know what that means.But from a normal person's perspective,loving your country means being loyal to your country.And fighting for whatever cause or aim that the government wants to put through.Is loving your country loving the politics,the government and the safe enviroments?No,loving your country is not loving that.Loving your country is loving the people inside it.Your family,your friends,the kids that play on mrt trains(which sometimes,can be very irritating).Singing the national anthem and saying the pledge to me,is stupid.I must say that singing Onward Singapore with empty hearts will definitely not,push Singapore higher up the ladder of piling countries.I don't actually believe that the country i live in,is planned to be fully democratic.Or equal.Or united.Or fair.Or happy.If i don't believe that,i don't think I should be saying the pledge.I shouldn't pledge myself to ideas that are not meant to be really fufilled but just said.

Just a thought...
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Alot of people think i'm a Satanist.I am not a Satanist.I am only someone who likes to read up on occults and religion.I'm a Christian.But I'm not a strong one.While this interest has always been there,I'm but no less but a newbie to the different religions and their practices.People with different books on religions,can i borrow them?I would like to read them.Thanks!

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I miss the old Inertia.Alot.

But it's long gone.

Tosh.
Nick.
Ken.
Kok.
Weeter.
Jaws.
Jia.
Me.

Best days,of my life.

OK,it's close to 11 in the night now.Thought maybe i should just blog about my life, instead of senseless babbling in some form of poetry or something.

Today was CHR sports day.I wouldn't say it was fun but i wouldn't say it was boring.It was simply just a waste of time.You and some eight hundred other teenage kids stuck in a stadium watching people run.While the few hundred kids cheer for whoever is known on the track,the majority spend the whole day socialising with buddies that they get along in school.And when they're feeling bored with whatever they're doing with their pals,they head out,towards the milo van and get a cup of milo which results in the uncomfortable rubbing together of sweaty bodies.That's definitely not the way sweaty bodies should be rubbing together.EVER.
Not my idea of a FUN day.

Oh anyways,how can anyone be best friends with you after talking to you for two days?If two days would be sufficient,i would have billions of best friends now.In fact,being best friends need a specific feeling.And it sure doesn't feel good when you're being followed by a person who treats you like a best friend when you really actually want her to go away.Alycia,don't dream.Be realistic.I know now we're of different worlds now.But,i hope you get it clear why i did things.If not,i swear I'm going to cock slap you one day.

I feel so much more better getting that off my chest.Woot.


OK ok,enough of my bitchin.Time for yours,if there's anything,just tag it up.

Wolf under sheep's clothing,
possesed.
The FFF.
RFID Chips.
Or simply barcodes.
Forced upon,
all mankind.
All follow.
Except the few,
for they have a cause.
In the facade of peace,
destroys the chosen.
Cross of Nero.
Beware,
it is already here.
Run for shelter,
fire falls from skies.
The earth squirms and
the seas stand.
And when,
everything seems the end.
He comes.
I await.


Didn't do much for the weekenend.School is starting up again tomorrow.I feel so blue.Someone save me.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH..

Inertia,JIA YOU!
OK ok,I know my mandarin is always out of intonation.But hey,at least I'm trying!
Hey,i'm planning to print new crew T shirts!Design your own,then we'll see which one owns.Whooooooosh....!

I've got nothing much to blog lately.So i guess till next time then.

FS3 was dope...Geah!
FTC was dope...Geah!
3Faith was dope...Geah!
GONZA was MAD...GEAHH!!

Inertia made me proud...Geah!!!!!

Qi Lin:
We've come a long way.2 years and still going on strong.Don't quit aight?You did very well in the battle.Started together,we'll quit together.And yes,love sucks.

Zhi Yang:
You piece of stylish shit.I hate you.Your footwork is so nice...I hate you.It's so clean and one of a kind.Dammiiiit.I'm gonna kick your shoe the next time i see you.

Yee Wen:
Eh,u must break more often ok?Next year,we must be good.Everyone at their prime.Break more ahh...Got girl friend already forget your buddies ah....?

Zhi Rong:
I know you are working now.Must be very tiring for you.Don't stop moving ok?I'll be behind you always ah!And uh...I think u need to shave or something. :)

De Hui:
You have a nice pale body.With nice wash board abs that support you when u hold that sexy V Kick.Strong big pale biceps and triceps that hold your sexy masculine body in the air when u hop on those things u call hands.Sexy...I liiiike.

INERTIA!!DON'T STOP MOVING!!WE'RE NOT EVEN HALFWAY THERE YET!!!!

Love ya'll...
Zhi Loong.

Samuel:
You are so dope.Thanks for joinin the competition with us.Much love and respect.

And much respect and gratitude to FTC for the support!

Tomorrow's the competition.Yet I'm not ready.I'm not feeling like i can actually make it past the first few rounds.I just feel weak.Just hope with all that i have,I won't let my crew mates down.Inertia,all the best.

Selfish you are so.
Bother me not.
Go away.

I miss Esther Ong.I miss Benjamin.Where have you been to for God's promises?

Shine on me.
Burn me away.
Expose your me.

Silence.
But I'm not alone.
Soul recoils.
Shadow grows.
Craving.
Drug.
Pumps my heart.
Get's it to work.
Gives me life.
Blade.
Decompose death.
Life fluid.
Embalms.
Not free.
Searching for an opening.
Exodus of life.
Scatter away.

Stairway to Heaven


There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven.

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who stand looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The piper's calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And she's buying a stairway to heaven.

When you appear, as an angel
looking me down, looking my way
Could you ever kill the pain in my heart?
Even though they say angels don't kill...

Update

Nothing much has happened.
Dad hasn't noticed my piercing...or has he?
Floorskills coming,but i'm not working hard for it...No time i guess...
Changing my skin soon.
I wanna catch Boogeyman.Anyone with the same sentiments?
Screw the O's.I'm so tired.
Not much mood to type out my life.So that's about it.

Till next time.


Damn...I wonder why i love you so much.