Time for an update...

Didn't do much for the past few weeks.Been breakin breakin and yeah...more breakin.Got a couple of new routines...I guess it just needs a little more practice.Still can't seem to get back proper king flares.Shoot...Maybe i really lost it.

I also got a new school bag for 60 bucks.I don't know,but i'm pretty happy with the bag.I think De Hui doesn't like his though.De Hui is such a comedian even without him noticing.

Christmas was good.Celebrated it with a superstar.Couldn't believe He took me in...

Changed my blog picture.Is it nice?LOL.I'm not too sure...It's not supposed to create a grim idea.In fact,its supposed to act in the opposite.

Oh well...I guess that's all there is to now.

Pull Me Away...

The air's so heavy.
It pressed upon me and suffocated me even more.
The smell of death and dirt chokes me.
The darkness surrounds me like a blanket.

How I wish I could be free...

My nails have peeled off from its fingers.
The blood felt frighteningly cold.
But yet,i seemed so used to it.
I scrape upon the wood above...
Your voice is what drives me.
To see you.

But I'm reminded of myself.
My disfiguration.
How can i ever be on par with you?


The sudden flow of strength and zeal,
Slowly and painfully,

eats off my guilt and self pity.....



Only you,can rescue me.




If only you can hear me.

"Anniversary"

A year ago today we stood
Above this same awakening world
I held you...
You never wanted me to know
Another year ago today
Before this same awakening world
I held you...
I never meant to let you go
There was a moment
There always is
When time stood still
And always was this...
One endless moment
You turn in pain
And I always let you go
Over and over again...
A year ago tonight we lay
Below this same remembering sky
I kissed you
You never wanted me to know...
Another year ago tonight
Behind this same remembering sky
I kissed you...
I never meant to let you go
Another moment
There always is
As time stands stilland always is this...
One endless moment
You tell me all
And I hold you and I kiss you
And I never let you go
I never let you go......

-the cure

It's always there.Leeching me of my life fluids.Only you can take it off.But you don't know.And you won't know.I wish somehow,



i never let you go.Really....

Guess it wasn't that long before i updated.Oh well..
Anyways,
just came back from a trip up to Malacca.Was pretty good.just do away with the food.Too salty and everything came in mini little sizes.I had claypot chicken rice for dinner one night.The chicken was really 'bone-y' and the rice came in abundance.The rice was like 10:1 of the chicken.Not that it was a bad thing.Just that the bowl was like only 3 and a half inches.So i guess i was pretty hungry even after that meal.Nothing much to shop for.Malacca looks,feels and smells like 60's Singapore.Even though i wasn't born then,i think i know how sian the feeling was back then.Sorry guys,nothing for ya'll.Next time when i go elsewhere,promise i'll get ya'll something.

Got a couple of invitations to go to some Christmas parties and stuff.Looks like i got a busy Christmas,but i think i know who i'll spend it with.Christmas eve will be for my mates.Will spend the night away at someone's house i guess.We'll see...

Got a couple of ideas for breaking routines...Maybe imma try it tomorrow.

It's late.I'm sleepy...weee.

Found what i needed.Or rather,it found me.

Flowers in the woodland
Soft beneath my feet
I heard her say goodbye and
I Saw the willow's weep
This casket full of memories
Keeps reeling me back in
The sound of the trees they comfort me
Through the wind
If it wasn't today
It would be tomorrow
Those words don't go away
And there's nothing left to say
Let me be strong tonight
And learn to breathe when
You're killing me again
You're killing me again
Running back and forth again...

I miss ya'll.Everyone of ya'll.Today felt like yesterday.But now it seems that yesterday never existed...Maybe,soon,it will be my turn.I've done enough damage...I'm sorry. But Inertia,let me go find myself.Let me go find a meaning in life.Let me find God.I hope you don't blame me.But i can't take anymore of this endless cycle of torment.I'm sorry that i may have dragged ya'll with me.But,let me go off for awhile.Let me find the truth.Then maybe,i'll be back.That's the only reason i can give...

Love,
Dome.

Maybe i'm done.I've dragged people down with me.Me...I'm to blame.Maybe i must deny my everything.

Maybe.Just maybe.

I've seen my fair share of hypocrites and mentors.Hypocrites?Can i consider myself one?For 3 years,been doing shit for the church.Been helping out people.Been encouraging people.But behind all that holy christian bullshit,i was such a hypocrite.But now,i'm gonna stop.I'm gonna be myself.Mentors,oh so many.I can't help but hate the shit outta you people.What makes you so damn great to fucking control me and mentor me?!When you can't settle your own bullshit....?!!Damn...I find it hard to forgive ya'll.Ya'll made me fall so bad.So deep.I don't want to be some fucked up burden for ya'll to carry.I never wanted it.But ya'll made me feel that way.Each one of you,leaving me to fend for myself in this shit.Ya'll said mentors were like friends.But friends don leave one another in shit to fend for themselves.Too hard for ya'll to handle?Then don't help.If ya'll run outta steam,and then leave...Do you know how i feel?!Ever considered how the fuck i ever feel.How the fuck i've tried to handle it myself...

I'm selfish,yeah,i am.

Damn...

Was alone again yesterday night.Began to watch television when i caught this advertisment on screen.I can't really remember what it was about or what it was for.But I knew the actress in the ad sure looked pretty darn happy and fufilled.That set me to ponder what and why everyone wants a fufilled life.Firstly,whats a fufilled life?Is it having a good job and a nice family?Having those two things would never lead to a fufilled life in my opinion.My opinion of a fufilled life is something that will carry on even after you die and leave this world.Look at all the people with a 'fufilled' life.When they die,are they remembered?No!! Are they forgotten? Yes with a boot to the face!Being fufilled is being remembered for your philosophies,your ideas,your passion,your character.And not just for your money or some materialistic bullshit.Being fulfilled is not having a good degree and a good job only to lose it all when you die.Mahatma Gandhi to me lead a fufilled life.So did Jesus and so did Sidharta Guatama(if thats how you spell it,or put it short Buddha).I don't want fame,i just want to be remembered for being me.That's being fufilled to me.

Maybe,just maybe.

There is no right or wrong.No good or evil.Just human perception.Religion is what humans created in substitude and fear of death.No one really knows what death really holds.Perhaps at day one of our creation,we already knew what death would bring to us and give us.But as more and more people came about,the 'truth' became distorted like a rumor being passed on.And out with that rumor came about religion.Perhaps death is not such a scary thing.But with all the spices added to it,man began to fear it.And where did the scale of right and wrong come about?Maybe it was what our conscience of being a more intelligent being in this world of dumb animals created.As we begin to taste life and its luxuries,we begin to wonder how we would feel if it would be taken away from us.Take life as the big luxury.When someone wonders what would happen if one dies(using my first point made about death),they start to fear death and that would lead to what many religion would teach.That it is wrong and a sin to take a life.I'm not saying that taking a life is right,but thats just because im held back by the confusion of many religious teachings and the life after death(if there ever is one).And how does one tell right from wrong within the many differences of religion?Many people can say that what the muslim radicals are doing is wrong.But to them,giving their life for God is right.Same goes towards Christianity.People start saying that speaking in tongues is the take over of the devil,but to them it is right and holy.How is it that with the many religions of today,no one has yet to stand up and convince the world of a life after death thats true.Its not that i don't believe in God.I do believe in one.Just that He is out there for you to find when one is really hungry for life.I don't believe in evolution bullshit.How can many years of evolution bring about bodies that are just simply too complicated for luck to manage.If that is so,how come humans triumphed above the rest of the animals if we were one of the last few creatures to ever appear on the planet's surface while the reptilians were here long before one can count.Pure luck?Luck is bullshit.And maybe we would all just die to become dust and earth.And nobody is remembered.And no one would find the meaning of this so called life that we live while everyone tries to find it.No one is spared from this vicious cycle.

Maybe,just maybe.

Wah...Tomorrow is the battle already.Pretty nervous.But i believe we can do it.Just hope all my routines make the grade.Hope all the practice everyday comes into good use.

Changed my skin.Some errors lurking around thats just pissin me off.I'll do it tml.Im off to sleep now.Later...

Ya'll are my family no matter what.I love everyone of you.Don't fall apart...please.

We are all nearly out of stamina.Its been really hard to keep close relationships within so many members.But we did it under the drudgery of school.I remember when the crew just started,it was just Tosh,Ken,Nick and I.And there i was with the rest of them in a simple MSN conversation discussing the name of our new crew.From then on,we progressed to gain members and close friends.Dax,Kok,Jia Qi,Jocelyn,Jordan,De Hui,Clarence and now Mikki.And losing members slowly.Nothing pains me more than to see friends become enemies or strangers.even so,i love them all the same.Somehow,i wish i could do something.But everytime i try,things always become worse.But yet knowing that,i find myself trying to resolve things.But nothing helps.If our jokes went overboard,let me do the apologising.If our behaviours went overboard,im sorry.If our language went to "deep",then let me apologise.Inertia,i hope you accept my apologies on everyone's behalf.If there's anything,blame me.Lets not hold grudges....please....